Daily Archives: October 5, 2012

Beautiful Disaster (Beautiful #1) by Jamie McGuire

Beautiful Disaster (Beautiful, #1)

Beautiful Disaster (Beautiful #1)

Kindle Edition, 361 pages
Published May 26th 2011 by Jamie McGuire
Rating: 5/5 Stars 
The new Abby Abernathy is a good girl. She doesn’t drink or swear, and she has the appropriate percentage of cardigans in her wardrobe. Abby believes she has enough distance between her and the darkness of her past, but when she arrives at college with her best friend, her path to a new beginning is quickly challenged by Eastern University’s Walking One-Night Stand. Travis Maddox, lean, cut, and covered in tattoos, is exactly what Abby needs—and wants—to avoid. He spends his nights winning money in a floating fight ring, and his days as the ultimate college campus charmer. Intrigued by Abby’s resistance to his appeal, Travis tricks her into his daily life with a simple bet. If he loses, he must remain abstinent for a month. If Abby loses, she must live in Travis’s apartment for the same amount of time. Either way, Travis has no idea that he has met his match.
My Thoughts:
I couldn’t put this book down, even though I probably should have. I enjoyed the book but I’m not sure why (I only curled up in the fetal position on the floor of my shower weeping manly tears of shame while muttering “why?”, like twice after all). I liked the main female character (not really) even though I thought she displayed the intellectual capacity of mentally challenged rock in many places. The whole initial sleeping arrangements thing…really? Really? Sticking around after one particular sequence (those who have read this hopefully know to what I am referring). Seriously?!!?! Which brings me to the main reason this is only getting a 3 star score from me: I’m not sure why everyone thinks the main male lead is such an awesome catch…he struck me as an arrogant, jealous (to the point of being creepy) douchebag ( but at least he’s a ripped, douchebag who is tougher than an MMA fighter and has the brain of an astrophysicist [too bad it didn’t come with a manual instructing how to properly use it when it comes to matters of the heart, but hey! He’s all alpha and oozes testosterone from his pores and apparently that’s all women want or need in a man, judging by the fact that every women he comes into contact with seems to offer her vagina on a silver platter, so no big deal!]) with a penchant for naming women after birds that like to poop on everything…possibly a metaphor for what this new girl is doing to his life of man-whoring debauchery (he is a genius after all, so clearly there has to be a clever meaning behind it). At least he uses protection, though, so he’s somewhat (but not really) responsible (however, methinks he learned to do this the hard way after casting his metaphorical rod into the metaphorical female equivalent of the Ganges river one time too many and coming up with nothing but a bad case of the old crotch rot…hmmmm…do I sense some fan fiction coming, but I digress).

He kind of (but not really) gets better as the story goes on, I suppose, although he does continue to allow his jealously to get him to do things that would have him arrested in a heartbeat if we were in the real world, but whatever. Maybe I’m just not alpha or manly enough to understand, I mean, I thought treating women with respect and not being an asshat was the way to go (thanks to Ms. MacGuire, I learned the error of my un-manly ways and discovered most women are vapid and easy. Thanks for showing me the error of my ways [but not really]). I was afraid our intrepid hero’s “dead sexy manly” actions would spell disaster for our lovely young couple’s blossoming romance, but thankfully LOVE! (*cough* co-dependency *cough* *cough* excuse me) conquers all!Anyhoo, with all this rambling it may seem like I hated this book. Not at all! Much like a junkie getting kicked out of rehab for shooting up the smack he smuggled in his anus, I continually keep coming back to these type of stories! It’s a love/hate relationship! I just want to see how the story is going to end…even though I sort of already do. I guess it’s all about the hero’s/heroine’s journey, and what a journey it is! More twists and turns than a mountain road and just when you think it’s over, BAM! you get a flat tire and have to switch vehicles and start another leg of said journey! What other YA (or is it?…duhn duhn dunnnnnnnnn) story about love blossoming between two college kids will give you fight clubs, mobsters, and fires! OH MY! Not enough for you? Well, have some poker, sex, angst, sex, jealousy, brooding, sex, childhood trauma extraordinaire, token gay character who has no purpose but to be the stereotypical token gay character…and act FAAAAAAAABULOUS!, Vegas, gambling, hustling (not the “sexy” kind), hustling (the “sexy” kind), gratuitous studying, gratuitous frat boys, the expected underage drinking, some gratuitous “in-hindsight-i-didnt really-think-this-through-so-I-wish-upon-a-star-this-relationship-works-out-or-I’ll-feel-really-stupid” tattooing, and a little “we’re-just-friends-even-though-we-clearly-want-to-bone-and-though-I-claim-to-not-really-like-him-I-will-sleep-in-the-same-bed-with-him-platonically-of-course-for-a-month-because-I-never-back-out-of-a-bet?” magic! Oh! Almost forgot! Let’s throw in some “two chicks at the same time” action as well!

This is such a guilty pleasure for me. I will likely read it again (not really). You know what? Screw it! This is gonna get 5 stars from me! Maybe they can do a Mystery Romance Theater 3000 version of this book with three funny authors (Tom Servo, Joel Hodgson/Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot) writing footnotes and annotations poking good humored fun at the book. Now where did I put that copy of “Manos the Hands of Fate”..

-Ana @ SoManyBooksSoLittleTime



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