I am not sure if you have an editor or are doing the editing yourself. If it is yourself the books are your vision and if we the reader can notice the discrepancies then it would be obvious to the Author. Also if you have an editor, fire them, they must be screwing with your work. If you don’t have an editor please have your work looked at by several trusted people to find the most obvious mistakes. Not only were there major timeline and storyline issue but simple word placement, misspellings, and wrong words throughout. These issues that have a simple fix truly ruin an amazing premise.
Storyline & Timeline issues:
Major issue is with Caleb/Sera’s marriage. Book #1 it is stated that the marriage was 800 years ago. Book #2 & #3 was listed at 600 years ago. By Book #4 they show up happily with their son Jade only 300 yrs ago in Venice. Since Sera could only conceive Jade while still human it makes it all the worse. Easiest fix is to change all the marriage times to 300 years earlier throughout the series.
Major issue #2: Polly. In Book #3 we are introduce to Polly, she tells us her story. Dropped off at Pollepel Island as a small child, raised by Aidan & the Pollepel coven. Named for said island & coven. Yet in Book #4 Caitlin stumbles upon her in an alley during an attempted rape and ultimately we are taken to Aidan’s coven which is now in Venice. Even though it is 1790 in this time it still does not account for Polly or the coven‘s whereabouts. It was stated the Pollepel Island was since the dawn of time as a sacred place to vampires that even the Native American would not enter the island. So 1790 or not does not account for the coven or Polly in Venice. Simple fix go back to book 3 change up the story by adding that this particular coven left to Venice for a time period after Polly was of age.
Problems with Book 1: Most readers had issue with the way Caitlin was in love with both Jonah & Caleb, especially in the end of the book . I realize that Caitlin is a teen, but she had lived a hard life without a father. Saw her mother go through endless romances to the detriment of her and her brother. So at 18 she would not be your typical boy crazy girl, more of a grown woman. Yet she displays the emotions towards boys as if she were a tween. She knew Jonah a matter of hours in total and was infatuated with him to the point of picking out curtains. Then she meets Caleb and forgets about the love of her life Jonah, within an hour she is upset that Caleb isn’t in love with her and may or may not love his wife. Come on, if he didn’t love his wife what kind of man is he? Not the type I would want. & my feelings wouldn’t be hurt by a Man of 3000 yrs of age that has a wife. 1 hour after she meets this man she professes undying love for him. & to my total disgust 2 pages later he admits his love for her as well. I wanted to stop reading right there, never to read anything you wrote again. & for a fact many readers did. You lost a lot of readers because of this. My fix for this REMOVE the I loved yous from this book. Have them start a friendship that obviously grows in book 2 as book 2 was written. It will be more realistic and honest.
Also, Caitlin’s mother is killed by Kyle in this book. Caitlin never mourns her loss and it’s barely mentioned again. Caitlin never tells her brother Sam of her death either. Fix, add a scene in book 2 where she tells Sam about the death. It will prove that Sam & Caitlin have a close relationship and it will allow us readers to feel that the characters are not one dimensional.
This book had the least of the misspellings and word placement.
Book 2: I will say that I loved the imagination that went into this book also the research of the history. With all of that work it was lessened by the mistakes. To spend that much time and not fix these simple things baffles me. Only one issue with the story, Caitlin’s constant internal dialog about Caleb. Remove half of it and the romance would seem possible and their night on the beach would be a surprise for readers. A lot of misplacement of words such as “Caitlin turned and smiled at Caitlin.” Caitlin has a clone several times throughout the rest of the series. Plus spell check changed several words in to others. Also where did Caleb’s issue with Caitlin’s humanity come from? She is already a half breed more vampire then human. Has to drink blood to survive and has killed during bloodlust. It is WAY too late for that worry! I will not say the name of the Author that was being channeled during that storyline blip.
Book 3: not much to say about that since it now felt right for Caitlin to love Caleb and I enjoyed the betrayed part, made it realistic, like they had to work to be able to say “I LOVE YOU” I enjoyed the new characters and the storyline. This is where the author shines. Editing was the disaster! Also the vampires on Pollepel Island with the exception of Aidan all act as teenagers. Where they may have been turned as teens some are thousands of years of age. they would not act as such or wish to be treated as such. I understand that they would not fit into other covens. That makes sense. They are NOT children so written that way is annoying. While Polly’s personality is childish, is should be her personality not her age that effects her behavior.
Book 4: Major issue: While Caitlin, Kyle, and Sam all travel back in time they remember who they are. Where-as Caitlin & Sam were never in 1790’s Venice, Kyle had been. This is my issue, Caleb also traveled back where he was in Venice living the life he lived in that time as if the next 300 years haven’t happened. But Kyle “on the other hand” (lol) just dropped in as his 2011 self. HUH? Also we are told that “vampires” can only travel backward in time, but Kyle says twice he can’t wait to kill Caitlin and return to 2011 New York City. HUH?
“ON THE OTHER HAND” & sometimes there wasn’t even another hand after. Was in this book countless times in Caitlin’s internal dialog. If this were a drinking game I would have had alcohol poisoning. Once it was twice in a paragraph. Editor needed!
Jade: His coffin is in the Cloister’s in New York. Sera prayed upon it before going to battle in the end of book 3, yet he is buried on the isle of dead at Aidan’s coven.
Caitlin was cloning herself a lot again, including Caleb changing to Caitlin in an entirely different scene. Also Sera was named Samantha 2 times during a battle near the end of the book. Some sentences had words that didn’t go in them, like madlibs.
This book the storyline and plot were thin. Too much visual description, which was a total change to the concise description of the earlier books. I found myself skimming, something I frown upon, especially in a short book.
With all this said, I love the series. I want the Author to fix this stuff and it would be amazing! The main plot is tight, the history research is concise. The series premise has a lot of promise. I want to know what happens next. A lot of readers do not have as much patience as I do and will give up on the story out of frustration with all that is amiss with it. Morgan Rice fix this not only for your readers but for yourself, let your true Vision shine. Thank You!